Thursday, November 13, 2014
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The Cloak Of Invisibility

I’ve seen a programme on telly about research the Yanks are doing on making troops and their equipment invisible (or nearly so), such that the enemy can’t spot them or get a radar lock to fire missiles.   I reckon I can save them a bunch of money. Regular readers will probably be aware that I drive a decrepit old Fiat Panda – well I’m convinced it’s now become invisible to other road users. Either that or it’s  gained a secret homing beacon which invites them to cut me up for no reason, or just pull out in front when I’m 50 yards away….

I feel like borrowing my nephews Land Rover 90 for a few days, and seeing if they still do the same. What it is wrong with drivers now? Just because I’m in a small, older car doesn’t give me any less right to use Her Majesty’s highway. Unlike the 10% or whatever of illegal vehicles around, it’s taxed, MOT’d and insured, so I have MORE rights than some.

There’s no point the authorities wasting money on “Think Bike” campaigns, if the tossers cocooned in their reinforced, airbag protected, electronically controlled “personal mobility devices” can’t be bothered to look out the fucking window….

I’m going to get a set of these:

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13 comments

  1. Many moons ago an eccentric college lecturer of mine drove a bashed up old Renault 4 (Remember them? With the handles on each corner?). Suffering from the same treatment from other road users that you describe here he fitted the air horns off a truck on his. How the hell the car managed to stay in one piece when he let rip with them was a true piece of physics defying handiwork.

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  2. I’d love to see your old Fiat Panda with a missile launcher on top and a radar system inside.
    There’s a youth magazine here that once gave a broad guide on how to make your own missile and then they sugested that to get it launched you should strap it on top of your car, drive to the highway and when you hit about 200 km/h you release the missile and hope for the best.

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  3. You need a truck to handle the weight :-)

    And the reason they only tested it twice is, the third time they would have exhausted the battery.

    But, Max, go for it :-)

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    • Ok … but I think I’d have to ask Microdave if I could borrow the legendary Panda first ;-)

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  4. @Akavitix – Thanks, that does confirm my suspicions! And yes, I remember the Renault 4 – not the car to hit a brick wall in, as the gearbox is right behind the front bumper, and a seemingly minor shunt can prove rather expensive.

    @ CynaraeStMary – It might yet happen! The story about strapping a missile on is one of those “Urban Legends” that has been refuted by Snopes. Good one though…

    @ Ampers – no problem for me, since it has two batteries, and a heavy duty alternator, to power my inverter, and other bits ‘n pieces. Oh, and by the way, you really should consider visiting Specsavers – there’s a hint at the top of the post which says ” Posted on April 15, 2011 by Microdave

    MD

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  5. You won’t find a gentleman of the calibre of Max Farquar driving around in a Fiat Panda! The only really suitable vehicle for a chap of Max’s stature is a Bentley Largess Convertible with twin superchargers and a simply enormous horn.

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  6. I hear you MD. I have a Renault Laguna, Star Trek Edition. It has a fucking cloaking device and the salesman forgot to tell me where the bastard switch is. It’s either that, or undercover traffic cops randomly checking that I am still capable of an emergency stop.

    CR.

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  7. Captain Haddock

    What you need Max is one of these ..

    [img]http://www.aircraftresourcecenter.com/Gal9/8701-8800/gal8766-Humvee-Ratej/01.jpg[/img]

    See how many arseholes fancy cutting you up then .. :)

    PS .. My Land Rover Discovery is quite off-putting too … ;)

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