Oxford University researchers have recently discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named as Governmentium (symbol=Gv), it has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons. These particles are held together by other forces called morons which in turn, are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called free loaders … giving Governmentium a total atomic mass of 650.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction, that would normally take less than a nano-second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 5 years. It does not decay but instead will periodically undergo a reorganisation of particles whereby a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass. When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many free loaders but twice as many morons.
Governmentium >> http://t.co/rbJOjNIR #politics meets #science
Governmentium: http://t.co/ZAYOhNgw
Thanks for explaining that, George. Makes so much sense and it all falls into place now ;)
I wonder if those boffins at CERN have been looking in the wrong place for that damned elusive sub-atomic wotsit? Could it be that the fabled Piggs-Scrotum particle has been lurking in the gigantic Governmentium mass, hoovering up the readies and converting them into pure nothingness? I think we should be told…
Absolutely brilliant from Max RT @MaxFarquar: Governmentium http://t.co/N7g4aFvw Science friction.
“Could it be that the fabled Piggs-Scrotum particle has been lurking in the gigantic Governmentium mass, hoovering up the readies … ? ”
In actual fact “C” .. I believe that the Piggs-Scrotum has already been scientifically identified and categorised as a “Huhne” ..
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2107901/Chris-Huhne-Minister-facing-trial-swapping-speeding-points-demands-17k-severance-pay.html
I should have known better Cap’n ;)
Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle (according to my ‘I-Spy Book of Quantum Mechanics’) does indeed point to the ‘Huhne’. Scientists have indicated that the existence of the Huhne is one of the best pieces of evidence supporting Karl Popper’s philosophy of invalidation of a theory by falsification-experiments.
There he was, pissing round the M25 collider at stupendous fucking speeds, when all of a sudden he transmogrified into his wife, shifted all the points over to her and arrived home feeling v. pleased with himself. Of course later (it turns out) the Huhne was attracted to another particle of AC/DC variable polarity and has since started wobbling on its axis…. :-)
So, what started out as a simple ‘Corrective Uncertainty in Nuclear Transition’ has now degenerated into an ‘UTTA-Corrective Uncertainty in Nuclear Transition’.
Or so it says in my I-Spy book……
Oxford University researchers have recently discovered the heaviest element y……
Oxford University researchers have recently discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named as Governmentium (symbol=Gv), it has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutro…
Governmentium New Heavy Element Atomic Mass 650 http://t.co/9Cq3UQKm
Science discovers a new element: Governmentium: http://t.co/YwbprlOb
Science discovers a new element: Governmentium: http://t.co/YwbprlOb
@latentexistence Seen this? Science discovers a new element: Governmentium: http://t.co/etU6zaoL ;~)
@latentexistence Seen this? Science discovers a new element: Governmentium: http://t.co/etU6zaoL ;~)
Very good! New element discovered: Governmentium: http://t.co/hzjTeaeM
@latentexistence Seen this? Science discovers a new element: Governmentium: http://t.co/etU6zaoL ;~)
@latentexistence Seen this? Science discovers a new element: Governmentium: http://t.co/etU6zaoL ;~)
Very good! New element discovered: Governmentium: http://t.co/hzjTeaeM
Very good! New element discovered: Governmentium: http://t.co/hzjTeaeM
“Isodopes” – brilliant George.
Governmentium: http://t.co/cDqGbq12
'Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration' http://t.co/wX7iQqsq
Governmentium New Heavy Element Atomic Mass 650 http://t.co/9Cq3UQKm
Governmentium: http://t.co/QBV7ULw6 Never a truer word. @number10gov
Scientists discover new heavy element >> http://t.co/rbJOjNIR Atomic mass 650 #Governmentium
Governmentium: http://t.co/RgT3IF0K
Scientists discover new heavy element >> http://t.co/rbJOjNIR Atomic mass 650 #Governmentium
Brill, thanks for that particle political broadcast..
'When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad)' http://t.co/wX7iQqsq
'When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad)' http://t.co/wX7iQqsq
Discovery of a new element called Governmentium http://t.co/v4YBiUc4
Discovery of a new element called Governmentium http://t.co/v4YBiUc4
RT @mynameisdermot Discovery of a new element called Governmentium http://t.co/NZXuRhFT