Here’s a couple of Nick Clegg quotes. The first one perfectly sums up the wishy-washy and fickle character of the Liberal Democrat Leader and Deputy Prime Minister. The second one is from the Cleggeron’s closing keynote speech at the LibDem Party Conference in Brighton … where he finally seems to realise, what the voting public really think of his pathetic trail of broken promises, all around ineptitude and lies.
Will I ever join with the conservative party?
No. I refuse to be merely an annex of another government
Nick Clegg 2008
Go back to your constituencies and prepare for abuse
Nick Clegg 2012
Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg says that he continues to be ‘honoured’ by his appointment as personal fag to David Cameron. Since the formation of the LibDemCon Coalition in 2010, Mr Clegg admits to performing household chores for the Prime Minister. Including pressing his trousers, polishing his shoes and warming his toilet seat. In return, Mr Cameron has protected Clegg from being bullied by other members of Tory boy Cabinet.
“Of course Clegg is not a full boarder,” said Cameron, “he’s a day boy. But rest assured, we will treat him with the respect that he deserves.”
“This has been a unique opportunity,’” said Clegg, “For some people, running around and opening doors for your fagmaster might seem demeaning. But for me, this is a price that I have to pay. That … and my lunch money.”
David Cameron has denied allegations that some Liberal Democrats have been bullied, after David Laws was found with his head down the lavatory and Vince Cable had to visit matron after being given a wedgie. ‘This is all part of the rough and tumble of government,” said Cameron, “I am sure that the first-termer boys will soon get used to this horseplay and find their rightful place in the pecking order … at the bottom.”
Meanwhile, it is understood that Danny Alexander regularly wears a pinny to serve afternoon tea to Chancellor, George Osborne. “This isn’t exactly what I had signed up for,” said the gullible ginger, “and I’m still getting used to my new ministerial title of ‘Scullion’.”
When asked whether he had sold out to the Prime Minister, Clegg replied, “I have made his bed … and I will lie in it.”