Tuesday, July 29, 2014
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Friday Funnies by Microdave

Friday Funnies by Microdave

George Silver sent me this, and wondered how it would need to be changed in order to appear in the MSM:

2 Niggers

He thought something like “2 West African Gentlemen and a Borrowed Van”

Whether that’s genuine sign writing or a ‘Shop Job” is open to conjecture, but I remember featuring this one from a 2011:

Black Bastard Builders Funnies

Whilst I’m busy causing offence I might as well go after the religious mob…

Jesus Is A Cunt

Well that’s probably my lot – after all, SOMEBODY is bound to be offended enough to make a “Hate Crime” complaint, so if there’s no Friday Funnies next week you’ll know why. Or it may just be that I’ve had enough, and decided to take a break….

Meanwhile, it would appear that in China they are busy with their latest erection:

Meanwhile In China

Meanwhile In China

And closer to home is another “erection”…

Sweating

Unfortunately a certain Therapist’s door couldn’t quite “get it up”

Therapist Door

If the first van sign writing was suspect, I think this is genuine:

Quality Service Funnies

Talking of “Quality Service”, is your car running OK?

Engine Missing

A missing engine might be the problem here:

excavator_pushes_truck

I prefer to have a backup…

Push-Me-Pull-You

“Sorry Mate, I didn’t see you coming….or GOING”

I included some items specifically for Caratacus last week – this might be his new transport:

Caratacus Jeep

TV Quiz show contestants often blurt out the first thing in their mind, without thinking of the consequences…

Your Penis

And here are some more “things” being pulled out:

Boobs

That’s your lot.

MD

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18 comments

  1. Thanks once again, MD, for thinking of me ref. transport. As I drive about the SW I encounter all sorts of drivers: excellent, thoughtful drivers, forgetful drivers, drivers of cars from which the indicator stalk has apparently been removed (BMWs in the main), and of course the fuckingarseholewanka drivers who are a liability to all and sundry and should never have had their harness removed by Nanny all those years ago. It is when I see these last that I consider commissioning one of these little beauties:

    https://www.flickr.com/photos/31290196@N06/5993797363/in/photolist-51bM3r-m3BCTF-f8zGJD-aCVv3b-a8DTt2-faLF5B-87oMTr-eNggPu-5zP2t-kz8d6T-4gELMT-c5fbtS-4tYnqn-4arahX-f8zGCZ-4tYnJx-dunMR3-dunPdE-dunPuf-duhdqX-duhepc-duhcxe-duhd5D-duhcS6-duheb8-4tYo3r-d8W8oL-6qBNSn-aAitkT-azRfN4-4KnXPP-f8PZrw-f8zGU2-f8PZwS-n83Ahh-f8zH6Z-a8DM8R-a8DUWp-a8GNRS-a8DPEn-a8DNhF-a8GHdA-a8DU3t-a8DYei-a8DX6g-a8GEC9-a8GKAf-a8DNN6-6ejavU-73wCi7

    Believe me, I’ve loosed off a few belts in my imagination these last few months, with every tenth round tracer … now that would make their bum hurt :-)

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    • Hi Caratacus. Was this you driving, on your way to the local takeaway??

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      • Ha! Never really fancied being a tankie, Joe. And those old T72s (not sure, but I don’t think that one’s a T90) were known for being particularly cramped on the inside. Mind you, it would cause a bit of a stir in the local little one-horse town if I rolled up in one of those and parked it outside the offie … ‘let’s see you clamp that one, shit-fer-brains’ :-)

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      • Hmmm. “Driving with a lack of consideration for other road users” is the appropriate term here. Got to be worth 3 points, surely.

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    • George silver

      Blimey Caratacus: that’s what you call ‘firing on all cylinders’. Please Mum can I have one for Christmas?

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  2. Imagine walking around with those great lumps on the chest.

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  3. A few observations, Dave…

    That second picture is obviously photoshopped since you will never see black men doing proper graft like that in real life.

    3rd item: I believe the young fellow in the T-shirt is a fan of the popular beat combo, Cradle of Filth. They coined the phrase to promote one of their records many years ago.

    Item 6: puts me very much in mind of the scary rabbit in Donny Darko.

    No. 7: A classic for sure – but you’ve featured it before!

    8th pic: a missing engine will certainly give rise to an appreciable loss of power. Romanians, in all probability.

    The digger on the lorry! Now THAT is resourcefulness!

    The chap with the mounted gun, I can confirm for sure, is indeed our colleague, Mr. C (heading north and looking for trouble on the M5 by the look of it.)

    Last item; bird with the knockers. A couple of fine specimens for sure, Dave, but how about another CT for a change? Oh – and in the interest of balance since you’ve done blacks and Christians and to avoid any accusations of racism – a paki joke or two?

    Overall though, definitely a quality assortment this week!

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  4. George silver

    I keep replaying the last one Dave. The knockers on that bird….. wonderful.

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    • I believe the correct term for the vertical damped oscillation of the breasts we see in this clip when the top is pulled up is “flubbering” – no kidding. Look it up.

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  5. As for Jesus being a cunt, conjecture it may be, but a valid proposition nonetheless. I like the way he, in keeping with his ‘meek and mild’ ethos, comes over to the miscreant to dispense his felicity with characteristic kindness and aplomb.

    The bint showing her ‘thruppnies’ has had a bit of work done methinks. Call me old fashioned but I like breasts that jiggle and move and don’t stand out like over inflated footballs. Still, I wouldn’t kick her out of bed.

    As owner of a T34 tank (T34/85 to be exact) and certified member of the ‘New Zealand military vehicles club’ I can endorse Mr C’s comment re the Russian tank. It looks very much like a T72. These tanks were indeed very cramped and crewmen were chosen for their diminutive height. Very unpopular with tank crews as the chance of getting out fast enough after a fatal hit was virtually nil. Being a tank owner means I don’t have to suffer wanky Sunday drivers. Those who piss me off get a round of my 85mm ordinance up their arse.

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  6. George Silver

    This was on Radio France Info this morning and made I larf:-

    Boycott Dorchester Collection hotels to denounce Sharia.

    “Hotels Dorchester Collection group, as here the Meurice in Paris, record cancellations since the launch in early May for a boycott of some of the customers who protest against Sharia law in the Sultanate of Brunei”

    Evidently the Sweaty-turban of Brunei introduced Sharia law 01 May and all the high-rolling customers of his hotel group have cancelled their bookings.

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  7. Not sure if this comes under the heading “Funnies”, but it surely beggars belief that this sort of carry-on is happening in a modern ‘democratic’ country:

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/10867666/Stolen-election-in-the-heart-of-London.html

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    • Not surprising at all, old chum. In impoverished areas where you typically get huge numbers of Labour-voting immigrants from the Indian subcontinent, these kind of (ahem) “irregularities” are very common and have been for many years. It used to be mainly in the north and west midlands, but it’s happening now in London because our traitors in Westminster have consistently turned a blind eye to it.

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      • George Silver

        I’m not certain but according to the Big Book Of Political Correctness it’s called

        Positive Discrimination. (Angl-Saxons excluded)

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  8. George Silver

    Just thought I’d post this for the Max Farquar gang. A question that maybe you thought about asking:-

    “George Silver
    JUNE 4, 2014 AT 7:43 PM REPLY
    Dear Coleman,
    I’m absolutely amazed at your work and information regarding the scum at the top of our corrupt system. I love the fact that you name names. How do you manage to not end up like Jill Dando?

    thecolemanexperience
    JUNE 5, 2014 AT 4:16 AM REPLY
    Well fortunately for us George, the advent of mass social media means we’re all able to research, access and then publish information, which must sicken the PTB.

    The Savile scandal has been exposed and the extent of the BBC and UK government paedophile ring is out in the open.

    Savile was no lone-wolf and many senior figures who are implicated have yet to be bought to justice.

    Poor Jill Dando knew about the ring but wasn’t able to get the information out to the public in time. She was shot to shut her up and warn off other journalists.

    We don’t scare so easily and this time round we intend to nail the bastards.”

    More power to the Coleman Experience elbow I say.

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    • Amen to that, George.

      All in favour of lifting stones to see what scuttles out from underneath. The sooner the horrible buggers are exposed, tried and imprisoned for a very long time the better.

      My mother tells the story of my father (died when I was very young) who was a young Met copper in the late ’40s – early ’50s. He used to detest being put on what was referred to as “Poof Patrol” where they would stake out the local public conveniences and arrest men who were seeking to importune boys for sex. He arrested one distinguished retired major who had had a “good war” – decorated many times including the MC and bar. He accepted his fate with good grace and my father, an ex-RM, couldn’t help asking him why on earth he did it when he knew what the risks were and how he now faced ruin in his professional life. The man sighed and said, “It all starts in public school, you know …” Young boys were sent off to boarding school where they were buggered senseless by other boys and, as often as not, the teachers in whose care they had been placed. My father said he would be damned if any son of his would ever be sent to one of those places.

      No wonder the great and the good are so bloody keen on places like Eton … keeps the ranks of the malleable and blackmail-able well up to strength. And when the secret services are instructed to bump someone off, isn’t it uncanny how it’s always to do with some form of sexual deviance or other? That poor bloody MP who was found dead in a bin-liner with an orange in his mouth when he had led a life of blameless integrity hitherto; that Houdini-like soul who could zip himself into a hold-all and then hold his breath until he coughed his last. As Marcellus might have observed, “There is something rotten in the State of Westminster” … but it’ll be no good Horatio waiting for Heaven to direct it towards better health. The fuckers need clearing out and stuck on an island where they can shag each other’s brains out for all I’m concerned; as long as they go and, more importantly, don’t come back.

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      • I see the old bill have knicked Gary Glitter again. Is this charade supposed to reassure us that TPTB are on the case?? They did the same thing with that other, decrepit old has-been Stewart Hall, too. Some pathetic display to try to show that they’re serious about pursuing these people to the nth degree. I’ll believe they’re serious when the likes of politicians and senior establishment figures get their collars felt. Until such a time, I can see with total transparency this cheap sham for what it is and I ain’t the least bit impressed.

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        • George Silver

          Just a small trip down memory lane. I once employed Stuart Hall to do a promotional skit with me in front of 300 punters at the Manchester United football ground. he wanted his ‘niece’ to be part of the act. To be fair she was pushing 30+. It went pretty well although he did get carried away and over the top. That’s the last time our paths crossed.

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